Being a mother

Being a mother is not only about changing diapers and breastfeeding...
It's also about being a motivator , an inspiration ( hopefully ) , a friend in need who listens to what happened at school , who you had a fight with , which teacher totally messed up your day by giving such a load of papers to do , who cheers you on at your football game , a friend who you can confide in , whom you tell about your first crush.

Then there was this time when you made this utterly stupid mistake , but I couldn't tell you that.
I had to swallow my worries and stand tall to give you moral support whilst on the inside I was shedding so many tears of sorrow and worry.

And then it broke my heart to see you disappointed by the fact that you were underage to work in this foreign country.
You had your hopes up high when you were signed up for this job but all came crashing down in an instant.

Finally after so many month of waiting you were signed up for another job abroad and now I wait patiently each day by my phone for you to call to tell me all about your days work.

So , here I am forever your loving sometimes irritating mom who will love you no matter what !!

And then came along your brother , this cute little bundle of joy who turned our world upside down.
My world came crashing down by the diagnosis the doctors told us , undeniable facts that this cute chubby baby was on the autism spectrum.

My peaceful bright world became darkened by this hard fact.

Hours and hours stretched into days into years of therapy filled with tears of heartache and sorrow until there were no more.

You my eldest even protested 'mama dah gak sayang abang '.

But I couldn't hear you because I only had eyes and ears for your brother.

But finally after so many years of rain , the sun broke through to burst into this eyeblinding beautiful rainbow.
And I'm grateful for that.